Writing Your Spiritual Biography
Waking Up, Growing Up, Cleaning Up, Showing Up
Introduction
There is much to be gained by reflecting upon your spiritual path in life so far. In our latest Telling Your Life Story class at we discussed this topic in detail. (class video)
Scientists tell us every cell in our body carries a unique DNA code: 1) to bring the cell to maturity and reproduction, and 2) to bring the cell into harmony and integration with the entire organism. It’s part of God’s design.
As in the physical realm, so in the spiritual realm. God has placed within every person an individual destiny of maturity and reproduction and a corporate destiny to integrate with the whole of mankind. Transformed people seek to find their place of service to help transform the world.
During this present season of spiritual awakening, it is helpful to have a framework that can orient our spiritual practice and our progress. Author, philosopher and futurist Ken Wilbur introduced a frame into the Integral lexicon called “wake up, grow up, clean up, show up”. This simple framework has gone viral and many have benefited from its use.
The Ego’s Cycle of Birth, Growth and Death
Before dissecting these four stages of spiritual development in more detail, it is helpful to look at the Big picture — the ark of consciousness development from birth to death.
Hospice nurse and author Kathleen Singh offers some excellent insights in her classic book THE GRACE IN DYING: A Message of Hope, Comfort and Spiritual Transformation.
At our birth we slowly begin to develop our ego or self-image and at our death (or as a result of spiritual practices) we finally must let go of our ego, according to Kathleen. A sort of “enlightenment at gunpoint.”
Our earliest experience as an infant is a magical time of connection, with both our mother/father as well as with our Creator. This is state of Divine union reflects our original goodness, purity and total surrender. It is this luminosity that is perceived and experienced in the presence of a new-born infant which parents witness at this earliest stage of self which evokes love.
As we grow, the ego-self moves toward increasing differentiation, a dawning sense of me. This developing consciousness of the child establishes the “First Dualism” between self and not-self — very relevant because it also represents the final letting go stage of the dying.
This First Dualism launches us into a lifetime journey into ego building and spawns our concept of space and time. We begin to make distinctions between past, present, and future, which births the “Second Dualism” — the distinction between life and death.
These first two dualisms, which develop in early childhood, seek to divide and separate everything, our thoughts from our feelings, thus removing us from experiencing wholeness and the unquestioning place of Love from which we came.
Next comes the “Third Dualism” — between mind and body which is usually developed in the early to middle childhood years. According to Singh, “The loss is immense. We lose our deep integrity, the unity of body and mind, which is the unity of feeling and attention — the ability to be present.”
The “Fourth Dualism” — our persona, is division between our acceptable self-image and the shadow self, which consists of all the parts of our self that we cannot see or that we disown.
“Our personal consciousness believes in its apparent independence and self-control.” In early adulthood years “we become lost in our own dramas; we forget our Original Nature and goodness,” writes Singh.
It is most interesting that the healthy ego-building of the first half of life is followed by a healthy ego-decline in the second half of life. Elders are able to see this full cycle of life from a much broader perspective and therefore have much to share with youngers that can help them become whole humans rather than dualistically fragmented, as so many are. (For more details on this cycle of life see Telling Your Life Story video class 10).
1a) From Tasting to Hungering for Spiritual Growth
Kathleen Singh has done the universe a great favor in explaining the value of writing down your own personal spiritual awakening biography in her book The Grace in Living: Recognize it, Trust it, Abide in it, which describes the four-stage movement into “being” beyond the small ego self.
Kathleen describes our spiritual development or evolution, as being divided into four quarters on a chronological timeline. Our spiritual journey may begin during any stage of life: childhood, mid-life, old age or nearing death. Each stage of development may be of different duration for every person, with the second stage often taking the most time and work.
Here are some of the characteristics of moving from tasting this spiritual awakening to hungering for spiritual growth…
* The first-quarter of spiritual awakening often begins with short glimpses beyond our small self.
* Reaching for the beyond often arises when we cry out for help. The first quarter ends when the longing becomes too strong to remain silent any longer. Spiritual desire becomes a priority in our life.
* The first quarter is spent developing healthy identity, ego and self and learning to survive. However, we later discover our ego mistakenly sees itself as separate from others and from the sacred.
* It is this very sense of incompletion that is at the heart of our yearning for the soul to be heard.
* We seek ways to let go of our known way of being, allowing grace to move us to higher ground.
* The path leading to this first quarter of spirituality may begin as a child being awestruck by nature, being affected in mind, body and/or soul. It may be a sense of connection when we take moments to pause during normal events, glimpses of unbounded love also give us a heightened compassion toward others and our self.
* This moving from tasting to hungering could be initiated by music, which some referred to as the original language of the heart/soul.
* It could be a result of sickness, or a feeling of being both tiny and vast. It is an inner compulsion to seek truth.
* It may be a childhood memory of playing in the ocean, feeling like at some point you might be just a drop of water dissolved into the ocean.
* It may come while reading a book, or hearing somebody speak and your soul asks: “What is real?…I know there’s something more than what I see right now.”
1b) WAKING UP
According to Ken Wilbur, whether conscious of it or not, all members of humanity have the heart-desire to return Home; to return to the glorious abode of Ultimate Reality.
All human beings have an intrinsic desire to know the single, indivisible, Great Sphere of Love from which, into which, and as which all of existence shines forth. All human beings have the desire and opportunity to “wake up”.
Within the context of Integral Theory, “waking up” relates to various state-stages of consciousness. As one awakens, one’s exclusive identification with superficial layers of reality are dismantled. One moves beyond an exclusive identification with thought — to the non-dual base of awareness; a base that naturally and spontaneously manifests as all relative form.
Waking up to this base awareness is fundamental to the New Civilization now emerging on Earth. Waking up to this single sphere, always already perfect exactly as it is, must be our most prominent priority.
2a) From Seeking to the End of Seeking
Here are some of the characteristics of moving from hungering for spiritual awakening to the finding a spiritual path and walking in it…
* The second quarter begins when we actually seek a path out of self and of suffering.
* There’s a longing to escape the purposelessness and alienation that we’ve come to experience in life. * It may begin with teachers, book or groups that resonate with our longing to discern the truth.
* Exploring our spiritual biography, we discern that (“central casting”/ God / the Universe) has sent us many teachers along the way in the form of mentors, friends, difficult people, serious sorrow or depressions. We become seekers, yet we still deeply believe in our self and ego.
* The second quarter could span months, years or decades in our life and can be painful, but healing is essential to growth in the second quarter. At some point we feel insufficient in the self’s survival mode. * The second quarter is marked by expanded attention beyond mere survival and requires letting go of anything the self thinks it can achieve on it’s own spiritually.
* Liberation follows intention aligned with grace. Surrender is a tumble into undefendedness.
* The second quarter ends when we see through the illusion of seeking the fantasy of forever seeking/searching. It begins intermittently, then grows steadily.
* Surrendering is frightening to the ego self because the self has no footing beyond it-self.
* In “being” the attraction to self dissolves, we begin to trust the grace working within us. We begin to trust our inner direction and realize that we are as the book of John says “grafted into the vine”.
* The outcome of emerging from the second quarter is that we begin to genuinely care for one another.
2b) GROWING UP
Waking up to the true nature of Reality is only part of our duty. The single abode of Awakened Awareness, intrinsically good by its very nature, shines forth and refracts through manifold aspects of Itself. This refraction of perfect light forms seemingly individual constellations of consciousness.
We commonly call these relative vortices of consciousness “selves”. We give them names, social status, and roles. In Integral circles, we even say that each self has Four Quadrants, with various degrees of developmental capacity and a whole matrix of qualities.
Each unique expression deserves our recognition. Each unique expression deserves dignity and respect. Everything you are, and everything you do, either enhances or dampens the potential of Reality to express itself through you, as you, for the benefit of the whole.
The more we “grow up” through varying structures of consciousness the more perspectives we can take, the more complexity we can hold, and the more care we can release in the world. A commitment to “growing up”, in all dimensions of life, becomes a sacred vow one takes to allow Reality to incarnate through us to the fullest degree possible.
3a) From Spiritual Healing to Spiritual Maturity
Here are some of the characteristics of moving from walking a spiritual path to finding inner healing and becoming spiritually mature…
* The third quarter is marked by a growing detachment from ego growth. Individuality is grasped, but not elevated above other expressions of the sacred.
* The ego’s operating system of survival mode remains available to function in daily life, but we trust it only to help us navigate the world and our interactions. We begin to operate, be driven by divine love.
* Self is no longer seen as our soul, or even our primary operating system, nor as a reliable refuge.
* In “being” mode, we come to know the awakened state of Grace and how to put Grace into action.
* We learn to “allow,” which becomes a familiar response. We’re all going to face some suffering as we age, but our response allows us to graciously embrace it.
* We have a clear-eyed discernment about what serves us and what no longer serves us. Decisions are made with increasing wisdom. As both the self and the seeker diminishes presence arises.
3b) CLEANING UP
In a similar way, the more integrated each of us is, the more whole and psychologically healthy we are, the less dusty the glass is in our stained glass window of life. The less dusty our window, the more brightly the Light of Reality can shine. This means we all have a responsibility to “clean up” anything that might be clouding our transmission.
If the process of “growing up” helps to provide more tools in the toolkit of life, “cleaning up” gives us more refined skills and more potent energy for how we actually use those tools. At a certain point in practice, we no longer do psychological work for our own benefit. Rather, because we know that Reality can touch more people through us the cleaner we are, we clean up to be of deeper service.
Cleaning up shadows and integrating all relative dimensions of self allows us to purify the signal from Source as it broadcasts out into the world.
4a) Ripening, Enlightenment and Servanthood
Here are some of the characteristics of moving from spiritual maturity into spiritual ripening, service and discovering our oneness with God…
* In the ripening stage, we are literally “becoming nobody” special, in the words of Ram Dass. We begin to experience greater dimensions of love, compassion, joy and liberation. We deeply appreciate our commonality and our individuality comes out to play.
* Trust permeates us, the call of the self is heard mindfully, but is much less seductive.
* As we ripen we come to fruition. We become illuminated and inclusive, not separated. We begin to see the unity of matter/spirit of self/other, we know our self as embodied Grace.
4b) SHOWING UP
Finally, all of this, whether we speak of waking up, growing up, or cleaning up, is used in service of the whole. The entire frame is just a skillful way to catalyze your maximum potential to “show up” in all of your glory, as a true emanation of Source.
As we move beyond individual paradigms of isolation and separation, humanity will more fully discover the power and potential of shared unified intention. Then with this understanding at heart and with each of us exemplifying a unique expression of intrinsic unity, “We” can, together, rain-down the blessings on the Earth that we have come here to give.
May this be an invitation and activation of all that necessary for us to show up together as the single unified force of Reality that we truly are. Wake up. Grow up. Clean up. Show up. We explore each of these concepts in detail throughout the book The Coming Waves: Evolution, Transformation and Action in an Integral Age.
First Quarter Prompting Questions…
Kathleen suggests writing down your spiritual biography in a timeline to reflect on your progress. Thankfully, in her book The Grace in Living she provides readers with a list of prompting questions from each of the four stages of growth to choose from for reflection, meditation and response.
-What were your deepest moments of understanding or vastness?
-What were your conceptions of yourself? -What are your ideas about the sacred?
-What was the nature of your relationship with others? -What were the moments you felt wounded?
-What conclusions did you come to about yourself and the world? -What were your challenges?
-What gave you strength? -What beneficial qualities did you develop?
-What negative beliefs about yourself did you develop?
-What did you learn from spiritual mentors or the teachers of goodness you might’ve had?
-What rules for living did you come to hold? -Which of these did you keep, which discard?
-What are the legacy’s from your family?
-What are the moments when you saw a shift in how you saw yourself and the sacred?
-When did spiritual hunger begin to awaken in you?
Second Quarter Prompting Questions…
-What turned you towards spirit? -What turned you back toward a separate sense of self?
-When did you first reach out to find a spiritual path? -What instigated the path of active searching?
-What teachers or teachings resonated with you? -What shift occurred in you in response?
-What were your thoughts about your goal? -What healing did you find necessary in order to continue your spiritual path? -How did you tend to the healing needed?
-What shift has occurred in your sense of self since this healing has occurred?
-What inner obstructions did you bring to the journey, whats the changing nature of your relationship with them?
-What challenges were you facing in your life during this time?
-What church challenges have faced you in your practices?
-What was has changed in your emotional reactivity?
-What were your practices during the second quarter and what was your experience of them?
-What was changing ideas about your practices? -What was the nature of your efforts your striving?
-What were your shifts in the understanding of the spiritual path?
-What was your spiritual goal initially? How is that shifted?
-Were there disappointments about goals and outcomes?
-What did you learn from these disappointments? -How was your practice shifted over time?
-What do you consider the benefits of the different practices that you engaged in?
-What has been the shift in relationships with family and loved ones?
-Were there moments of spiritual crisis? -What were your deepest moments of understanding?
-What have been the shift in propensity to love and can passion?
-What turning point allowed you to surrender? -What growing distractions and seductions have you noticed?
-When did you begin to assume responsibility for your own spiritual path and begin to give authority do your own direct experience?
-What has been the changing nature of your spiritual confidence?
-What was the moment when you felt the most presence of spirit?
-What is rearranged in you and on an energetic level?
-At what point or points did you come to hold yourself accountable for your realizations and understanding them to be embodied?
-What changing relationship with faith and confidence trust and grace?
-What are your most grateful moments?
Third Quarter Prompting Questions…
-What inclined you to move deeply into awakening?
-What drew you back into the separate sense of self?
-What healing was necessary?
-How have you reduce the distance between your realizations and embodiment in every day life?
-What has been the changing nature of your practice?
-What shifts in your understanding of the spiritual path… of the awakening of self?
Fourth Quarter Prompting Questions…
-What inclined you to move deeply into being?
-What can pull you back to reactivity of the separate self?
-Have you had times that you felt this is it enlightenment?
-What did you learn? What is your practice now?
-What do you offer the world? What are you grateful for?
Free Resources
For additional help on writing your memoirs and autobiography here is a link to a free workbook, The Story of Your Life.
Kathleen also has a fantastic book in the series entitled The Grace in Aging which is highly recommend reading for everyone ages 50 and up.
May we all gain greater self understanding and spiritual growth as we write our story down, both for healing of self and for our posterity.
Here is a humble song Tell Me The Story of Your Life, I wrote on the subject.
