Living with an expiration date: 7 tips

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Living with a specific expiration date can be a challenging and complex experience. Truth is, we all live with an expiration date, but the younger we are the less we tend to think about it.

For example, my 19-year old daughter thinks about it much less than her older sisters now in their 40s. And at age 70, I think about it more than all of my daughters combined!

In 2023, the average mortality rate in the U.S. for men is age 76 and age 81 for women. So, does that mean I have only 6 years left? Perhaps. But, it can vary as much as 10 years depending upon which state you live in!

Last year, after being diagnosed with a fatal Covid-induced lung disease, I was blessed to qualify a double lung transplant. The average transplant survival rate is 6 years. So, do I now have only 5 years left? Perhaps.

My point: regardless of how many years we have left to live, the time to prepare is now, because all we really have for sure is this moment today!

While the time frame, emotions and personal circumstances of our lives are diverse — and facing the reality of our own expiration date may be uncomfortable — here are a few humble suggestions on how to approach it.

1. Embrace the present: Knowing that your time is limited can provide a unique perspective on life. Focus on making the most of each day, cherishing your relationships, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Live in the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
2. Set goals and priorities: Determine what matters most to you and what you want to accomplish within the time you have. Setting goals can give you a sense of purpose and help you make the most of the time available. It can be helpful to break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps.
3. Seek support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or a support group who can provide emotional support and understanding. Sharing your feelings and fears with others can be cathartic and may help you navigate the emotional challenges that come with living with an expiration date.
4. Make peace with mortality: Coming to terms with your mortality can be a deeply personal journey. It may be helpful to explore your beliefs, engage in spiritual practices, or seek counseling or therapy to help you process your emotions and thoughts. I’m reminded of a classic line in the movie An Interview With God. God tells the reporter interviewing him: “As a journalist you understand the importance of a deadline.” The reporter suddenly understands his own mortality is imminent and the reality that every circumstance can be used for our good if we have faith to see God’s hand in it.
5. Create lasting memories: Consider creating lasting memories with loved ones by engaging in meaningful activities, taking trips, or documenting your experiences through writing, photography, or other creative outlets. Here is a free workbook I wrote to help you write The Story of Your Life. These memories can be cherished by both you and those close to you.
6. Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial during this time. Maintain a healthy lifestyle, engage in activities that bring you peace and relaxation, and seek professional help if needed. It’s essential to prioritize self-care and address any concerns or symptoms that arise.
7. Explore end-of-life planning: While it may be difficult to think about, considering end-of-life planning can provide a sense of control and peace of mind. This can include creating a will, making healthcare decisions, and discussing your wishes with loved ones.

Remember that each person’s experience is unique, and it’s important to find what works best for you in terms of coping strategies and emotional well-being. Consider reaching out to professional counselors, therapists, or support groups who specialize in end-of-life care to provide you with specialized guidance and support during this time.

I found the book, The Grace in Dying by Kathleen Dowling Singh to be of great comfort in preparing for the passing of my mother Virginia. More suggested books I found helpful in contemplating both life and death are listed here.